the movie date

dinner and a movie? pick carefully.

300: Rise of an Empire | 2014 | 102 min | Noam Murro

Plot - Greek general Themistokles leads the charge against invading Persian forces led by mortal-turned-god Xerxes and Artemisia, vengeful commander of the Persian navy.

Good date -  This one is more homoerotic than gay porn. And just when you think it couldn’t get any more sexually appealing to Greek men lovers you’ll be able to watch as long fat wooden boats thrust against each other atop the open Aegean Sea, rubbing on and on and on, wood against wood, so on and so forth… 

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Thor: The Dark World | 2013 | 112 min | Alan Taylor

Plot - When Jane Foster is possessed by an ancient evil weapon of mass destruction, Thor must protect the universe from a threat of old times: the Dark Elves.

Good date - Could his hammer get any bigger? *giggles* There IS eye candy for alpha male lovers in this new improved Star Wars meets Tolkien exploding in the comics section of the nearby bookstore. Cheese of course, but VERY funny and well written. It’s so implausible that you so do not care… XD

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The Green Mile | 1999 | 189 min | Frank Darabont

Plot - The lives of guards on Death Row - aka the “the green mile” - are affected by an new inmate: a huge black man accused of murder and rape, yet who has a mysterious gift.

Good date - Time to learn or teach him/her to be grateful for having you. Oh, yes, this one is more like a very long emotional trap, so yay!

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Edward Scissorhands | 1990 | 105 min | Tim Burton

Plot - An uncommonly gentle young man, who happens to have scissors for hands, falls in love with a beautiful adolescent girl.

Good date - Frankenstein’s legend undergoes extreme makeover and turns into a beautiful tale of getting along with each other. After all, everybody just wants to be loved. Leave tissue paper on the cofee table for the “allergies”. 

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Now, you can follow our movie reviews on Pinterest too. It’s bucket list time, everyone! 
Oh, wait, we are on Facebook too! ;)

Now, you can follow our movie reviews on Pinterest too. It’s bucket list time, everyone! 

Oh, wait, we are on Facebook too! ;)

Byzantium | 2012 | 118 min | Neil Jordan

Plot - Residents of a coastal town learn, with deathly consequences, the secret shared by the two mysterious women who have sought shelter at a local resort.

Good date - What starts as a garden-variety vampire movie turns into a self-conscious statement on women sexuality. Additionally, it compares love to death and the other way around: to have either of them you have to be open to the possibilities of both and to invite them into your present existence. Good for intelectual partners and for those who just want good fiction to kill time.

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The Conjuring | 2013 | 112 min | James Wan

Plot - Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren work to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in their farmhouse.

Bad date - Possession is basically a form of rape - spiritual rape according to the lore. So, we don’t want that hanging between you on the night that was supposed to be perfectly fun and end up in warm lovemaking, right? 

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The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug | 2013 | 161 min | Peter Jackson 

Plot - Bilbo and the dwarves reach Erebor and face Smaug, the dragon. Meanwhile, Gandalf finds out the terrible truth about an old threat to the piece of Middle Earth.

Good date - Now, this one is a trap really. Find out if he/she can relate to the dragon’s personality. Well, as you may or may not know (yet), the dragon turns out to be a sociopath. If your soulmate can relate, it’s time to run to the hills. No pun intended.

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Carrie | 2013 | 100 min | Kimberly Peirce

Plot - A reimagining of the classic horror tale about Carrie White, a shy girl outcast by her peers and sheltered by her deeply religious mother, who unleashes telekinetic terror on her small town after being pushed too far at her senior prom.

Good date - High school’s alumni ecosystem is overall divided into a) those who bully, b) those who are bullied and c) those who try to stay neutral as much as they can before being pushed into bullying others or being bullied themselves. This is a good opportunity to learn in which category your soulmate du jour fits and assess guilt, ethics and maturity levels to avoid unpleasant surprises later on during, let’s say, a life together. Nobody wants to wake up to pig’s blood after a bad argument on the night before, right? 

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The Wolverine | 2013 | 126 min | James Mangold

Plot - Wolverine, during an existential crisis, is summoned to Japan by an old acquaintance from the Nagasaki bombing.

It depends - It’s easy and fun, and it displays a lot of shirtless Wolverine man-on-man action for your viewing pleasure but if you are an X-Men fan, it’s kind of pointless. 

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